Zombie Apocalypse

March 20, 2020

My question is simple—does anyone known anyone in real life with this COVD-19 virus? Everyone knows Tom Hanks has it, but has anyone seen the real and living Tom Hanks? When they release a statement from his self-quarantined, unknown location in Australia, it’s always a voice recording, not a video. He says, “Be prepared! Don’t be scared!” or some trite slogan, so many others at this time.

A better question—why did President Trump switch from scoffing at the global panic over COVID-19 and became the world’s greatest advocate of quarantines? Trump boasts his administration shut down all travel from Asia before other nations, and then he shut down European travel before other nations took any steps.

The biggest question—What do they know we don’t know?

Trump never switches positions based on polling data. Trump never follows the herd. What happened? I say the CDC sent in-the-know scientists to the White House who showed Trump what COVID19 really does—zombies. Like the RAGE virus in 28 Days Later. Or like World War Z.  Suddenly, COVID-19 must be stopped. At all costs. Shutting down the American economy is a small price to pay. “Shelter in place” quarantines make sense for the whole population, not just contaminated people.

Where are all these quarantined people? “Self-imposed” quarantine, they say. But nobody knows. The government could be whisking contaminated people away into government-controlled quarantine zone where they kill people turning to zombies, and nobody knows! “Where’s so-and-so? Hmmm. Self-imposed quarantine, I suppose.”  End of discussion.

Florida, by the way, activated the National Guard, I saw it on the local news down here in St. Augustine. Why? They say the Guard will distribute virus test kits and toilet paper or whatever panic-buyers are emptying from stores. I say they drive around whisking away COVID19 infected people before they become zombies or looking for stray zombies they immediately extinguish. That would necessitate activating the National Guard, for sure! It would explain why National Guard trucks full of soldiers are driving around everywhere. To distribute test kits? Of course not. As zombie-hunters? Of course.

For many decades the Big Screen warned us Zombie Apocalypse was coming our way. Why is anyone surprised if COVID-19 is a Zombie Apocalypse? Has not Hollywood prophesied this event? Has not Hollywood demonstrated how real it could be?

Consider this fact—if COVID19 is a zombie virus, would the government tell us? Hell no. Infected people disappear, everything shuts down no matter what the cost, the National Guard is called out, all travel is banned… In other words, it would look exactly like what is happening now. I could go on and on with many more proofs, and nobody is able to shoot any of them down. My zombie explanation is the simplest of all. The government explanation explains none of these extreme, costly measures. Stopping the spread of a cold virus? Really? COVID19 is a form of the cold virus, by the way.

The Zombie Plague in Florida

While driving down to sunny St. Augustine from cold, drab Cleveland, I was telling my youngest son all this evidence. It was 3 AM, and the others were asleep in the back, so I was whispering these things. Connor, by the way, is paranoid and neurotic in the most obsessive-compulsive way with his anxieties, so I was making considerable headway convincing him, I could tell, although he was trying to deny it. His denials were weak and lame, and I could tell he didn’t even believe himself. He was mostly believing me.

Dense fog blanketed the entire area as we pulled off I-95 to a truck stop. The freeway looked like a crude, dirt road through my windshield, the fog was so dense, and it was worse after we left the freeway. The truck stop was a massive complex with dozens of gas pumps, travel store, restaurants and more. It was empty. Nobody was there. Millions of watts of lighting made it possible to see the entire complex and exaggerated how empty it was. There was a cashier, so we bought a drink and jumped back in the truck, then asked Google to guide us back to the freeway. I could find my way to the truck stop since it was right by the freeway exit and lit up. But the fog made it impossible to see road signs, and not even any road past 20 feet. No way I could find the freeway.

I kept telling Connor about the Zombie Apocalypse Government Conspiracy as we followed the clear path Google Maps displayed on the dashboard. Look, even Wal-Mart closed all its stores from 11 to 6 am nationwide. That was the end of the world, as far as I was concerned. Or the end of human civilization. Certainly, true in the states of South Carolina and Ohio or West Virginia, where Wal-Mart rules life itself.

I learned that talking about Zombie Apocalypse while driving through dense fog at 3 am with a paranoid son was contagiously terrifying. I was starting to believe myself. People who know me would say I am very persuasive. Too persuasive, I discovered.

The worse of all possible scenarios occurred—for some unnatural reason, Google maps led us deep into the back roads of South Carolina. It should have only taken a few minutes to reach the freeway. But we drove for miles, with endless and senseless turns, ending up in a ghost down of broken-down shacks barely standing in this fog-smothered blackness. After 20 minutes, clearly we were lost, deep in the wastelands of South Carolina. We were at the mercy of any gun-toting, local good-old boys who might suddenly appear in the fog blocking our path and not too friendly towards strangers coming into their ghost town with the COVID19. Especially Yankees from Cleveland.

Google Maps was our salvation, but Google led us into this backroad darkness. It was unnatural. Irrational.

Google told us to turn again, like dozens of turns before, and we obeyed nervously, but thankful it a road we turned on. Google had steered us through valleys and rickety bridges that crossed invisible, roaring rivers. When Google said to turn, we never knew if we were turning on a real road or maybe it was a road washed out by the river roaring alongside us or maybe below us, and Google dumped us into a river gorge. Google would never know the road was washed out. We would never know until we were tumbling down the cliff.

At last, this turn was the entrance to I-95! Google did its job, however irrational and terrifying, so thank you Google.

As we drove happily onto the freeway, Connor delivered the greatest refutation to my Zombie Apocalypse scenario—why would God bless our fellowship so greatly and raise up a new generation of competent leaders if He knew a Zombie Apocalypse was just around the corner? It would be cruel and misleading for God to show us a promising future when He knew there was no real future in store for us, he said. Connor was excited by his own reasoning. It worked for him. It was such a beautiful, sweet, loving view of God, how could I deny it? So, I relented. He was right. COVID19 really was what the government said it was. There was no conspiracy. It was a sweet argument. It was spiritual. Of course I was only preying on his fears all along, and that needed to stop right now.

The Real Apocalypse

The real Zombie Apocalypse is fragile nature of the modern era. You would think the great achievements of modernity like medicine and technology would create the strongest society of humankind. Instead, it has created a culture of terror and weakness, where destruction is always inches away. COVID19 would be a blessing throughout human history, compared to what humans usually faced. German measles are terrifying. The Black Death was terrifying, with a 25% mortality rate. Disease with a 1.25% mortality rate would be considered normal, like the flu.

“But COVID19 is four times more lethal than the common flu!” the CDC shrieks. The difference between the flue’s mortality of 0.3% and 1.2% from COVID19 is a subtlety only detectable through acute analysis and statistical monitoring, which humankind never pursued with such rigor before the modern era. People wouldn’t know, wouldn’t care, and wouldn’t be so terrified. The scientific precision of modernity stirs terror, not confidence.

The terror is truly a picture of a world tottering on the edge of collapse, ready and willing to turn to any Messiah offering safety. “While they are screaming, ‘Peace and safety!’ then destruction will come upon them suddenly like labor pains upon a woman with child, and they will not escape,” God says about those who love the World (1 Thessalonians 5:3). Those who believe in the real God Almighty, the Creator God, will be immune from this Zombie Apocalypse.

But you, brethren, are not in darkness, that the day would overtake you like a thief; for you are all sons of light and sons of day. We are not of night nor of darkness; so then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober. For those who sleep do their sleeping at night, and those who get drunk get drunk at night. But since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, 1Thessalonians 5:4-9

All humankind will surrender all freedom without debate, without any conquest, and even worship a worldwide dictator, the Bible says. That prophecy dominates much of the Bible’s prophesies, which Paul calls, above “The Day.” It is also called The Tribulation, the Day of Israel’s Trouble and other terms given in both the Old and New Testaments. Such prophecies seem so unrealistic in an age of Democracy and freedom, until COVID19. Now it is clear the modern era is ready, ripe and the most prepared civilization in human history to stampede like a herd of cows into the arms of a savior promising, “Peace and safety!” COVID19 may be a threat, but nothing like the threats that could and will arise.

The real Zombie Apocalypse is the widespread worship and blind American faith in the Great Gods of Silicone Valley and all the gods of Tech. “Technology will create a cure!” they shriek, but where is the cure today when you need it? There lies the monster! The prophet Ezekiel made the same point while 400 prophets of Baal danced and cut themselves and cried out to their god to save them, and there was no response. “Maybe Baal is in the bathroom,” Ezekiel said. “Shout louder!” Surprisingly, they did! What bozos. And yet, no answer came. So it is with today. Some day soon there may be a vaccine. Not today. And yet today matters today. Not tomorrow.

How nice it is to trust in the real and living Creator God who is alive today and tomorrow too!

COVID19 is just a cold virus. Not even a flu virus. After spreading nearly five months across China, it killed 3000 people. Which is a tiny number in a population of 1.3 billion. The terror racing across the world is how easily COVID19 spreads. Ok. But its mortality rate is less than 1% in the general population, which means it is not life-threatening. Adding in the mortality rate among older people my age raises the mortality rate to about 1.2% or maybe more, maybe less. What escapes attention is that people at my age are at risk of dying by waking up in the morning!

On the day they diagnosed me with cancer, if the doctor had said, "The bad news is that you have a 1.5% chance of dying from this," I would have jumped for joy!

“Millions will die!” they shriek on TV, day after day, and it is true. With a 1.2% mortality rate, in a nation of 300 million it means three million will die. What eludes everyone’s attention is the same could be said of the common flu. With a mortality rate of .3% it means over a million people will die!

The real Zombie Apocalypse is the widespread hypocrisy, so glaring and pronounced and entirely unnoticed by zombies marching under a blind faith in Evolution as the Great and Almighty God of Life on Planet Earth. If Evolution is the true Creator, the Almighty and Wise always strengthening the human species by killing off weak and vulnerable humans, the Almighty Force who preserves the strong, why are those zealous believers fighting the spread of COVID19? Is it not evolution at work? Is it not the classic thinning of species? Is it not necessary in a world governed by evolution?

On paper, in ivory towers across America’s universities, in classrooms and laboratories everywhere, evolution is the only logical and scientific view of the world. Anyone who believes in a Creator God is irrational and unscientific. The zeal is rabid and pervasive, like a Zombie Apocalypse. Unfortunately, in the real world, nobody can live believing in Evolution-the-Divine! It looks good on paper, but not in the real world. Who notices? Nobody. Why? Because Evolution-the-Divine-Creator is the faith of zombies!

These inconsistencies and hypocrisies and follies should not escape the attention of those who say they believe in the real, Creator God! We are on a different path.

The real Zombie Apocalypse is following the herd driven by the course of the World. “You formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience,” is how God describes the herding instinct that governs humankind in Ephesians 2:2. COVID19 is a living demonstration of “the course of this world”.

The real Zombie Apocalypse is the widespread inability to think critically and analytically and logically when the slightest irregularity occurs because fear drives “the course of this world.” The zombies live daily “following their emotional greed,” the Bible says, which some translations call “lust”. But lust is merely another word for greedy emotions.

I have inoperable pancreatic cancer, which grows rapidly, and no chemotherapy or surgery or medicine or radiation or technology will save me from dying soon. Pancreatic cancer like mine has a mortality rate of 100%. Now that is a threat. I might catch COVID19, although I am not trying to, and probably I will not catch COVID19. From my position I can see clearly as never before because I am going to die. The bad news is that I am not alone. Life itself has a mortality rate of 100% like inoperable pancreatic cancer.

Since everyone is facing a 100% mortality rate, I should not be the only one who sees clearly. Unfortunately, most people try to deny they have pancreatic cancer or something just as lethal. Standing on the precipice of death as we are, there is only one question that matters—namely, what are you going to do with your life? From my position I can see clearly that life is incredibly brief, lasting long enough to make a few vital decisions about eternity, long enough to see the implications, to confirm those decisions, and then life is finished. Yet this Zombie Apocalypse demonstrates how people are madly trying to run from the most obvious and simple, unalterable fact, like a herd of stampeding cows.

Christians! We are not cows driven by fear!

“God’s love casts out fear,” the Bible says. Fear is the driving force behind the COVID19 panic of 2020. Humankind has never tried running from a virus of this nature or anything close to this. Will it succeed? According to the science, no. Everyone will end up catching the virus, and soon, the scientists admit, no matter what we do. Why the panic? It is nearly impossible to stop a stampeding herd of cows until they grow exhausted or run off a cliff.