From The Relaxed Parent, here’s some useful advice for parents with children headed into adolescence.
Ten Tips for Motivating Your Child
- Allow your child to fail – we rob our kids of motivation when we rescue them.
- Give your child regular household responsibilities – when we affirm our child’s contribution, they begin to see that they are needed & have something valuable to offer. It builds their self-esteem.
- Decide to limit what you give your child – be concerned with their needs, not their wants. Waiting develops self-control for their later years.
- Teach & model respect for people & property – teach them to care for & value what belongs to them. They must understand the value of property to respect another’s possessions. Model respect by being on time, be courteous with service people (waitresses, cashiers, etc.), drive courteously & don’t criticize behind someone’s back. (Your kid is watching!)
- Build into your child the value of completion – limit their activities & teach them completion, a sense of achievement & closure. Otherwise, they learn if something gets tough, just quit (won’t work at a job or in a marriage).
- Limit exposure to media – they are drowning in information & starved for knowledge. When kids are over-stimulated with information they become passive & apathetic. Encourage them to read & think, daily.
- Teach & model personal virtues over conformity – honesty, faith, hope, courage & love are more important than social status.
- Hold your child personally accountable – children should be responsible for what they say & do. There are always consequences for the choices we make in life.
- Work together – projects (school, home, etc.) build relationships. We build motivation when we create opportunities to serve together.
- Play together – when parents & children relax, laugh & enjoy each other, it builds a bond. Having fun is motivating.
Marks of a Close Family
- Show affection – verbal & non-verbal & comfortable & natural for parents & children
- Spend time together – increases opportunity to love each other & converse
- Build trust – as you spend time together, you build trust. Can be built apart to measure responsibility & freedom children can handle without parental supervision.
- Develop support systems – support each other amongst successes & failures. It provides security & freedom.
- Trouble-shooting Parenthood
- Parenting Class